Why I Don't Want My Daughter to be Like Me

As parents, our job is to make as many mistakes as possible, so we can learn from them and pass that knowledge on to our offspring.

We want the best for our kids, and sometimes that means knowing what in ourselves we don't want them to be.

When I can, I try to ask myself this question before taking an action: Would I want my daughter doing this? Kids learn by example. You can tell them "do as I say not as I do" until you're blue in the face but they're clever. If mom can do it, why can't I?

In the 2 years since Babs has come to be, I've identified several more traits than I thought I'd be able to that I don't want her exhibiting.

1. Woefully Inadequate Anger Management

Note to self: next time I want to slap some sense into Mr. Go, take a breath and ask: would I want my daughter feeling and acting this way?

2. Oblivious Accidental Selfishness

Stay present in each moment, Babs. Whatever's got you wrapped up in your head isn't as important as the here and the who in the now.

3. Serious Face

Not only do I have a literal Serious Face that shows up when I'm lost in my head-- squinting, brows down, lips tight-- I take myself way too seriously. You only live once; it'll be loads more fun if you can laugh at yourself and your mistakes. Because there will be a lot of them.

4. Get Out Of Your Basket

When something is new and different, historically I haven't been terribly open to it. I'm a recovering Excusahol. Life will be richer and more exciting if you take chances, have experiences and get out of that safe, comfortable basket.

It's easier to give this advice than to live it, but if there's anyone I could do it for, it's my daughter. Yeah, you should want to better yourself for yourself, but sometimes that's not enough. And I've found that having a kid is the strongest motivator there is.

You've gotta start somewhere, and there's no better time than the present.