Why I Want my Daughter to be Like Me

Please don't misunderstand my last post; I'm awesome. Self-love and confidence are very important. There are way more ways I want my daughter to be like me than not. I do my best to really play up my good qualities for her, since she is a little sponge and soaks up absolutely everything I do and say.

a happy little sponge

1. Kindness (Generosity/Empathy/Selflessness)

These are all connected; one runs into the other in a cycle of goodwill and harmony. You see someone in need, you understand how you would feel in their position, you help them.

I get a thrill when I help someone. The other day a guy dropped some money on the ground and I helped him catch it as the wind blew it around. He was so appreciative; it made my day. I want my daughter to know this feeling; the most harmless (indeed, beneficial) high there is.

2. The Power of Choice

When I get crabby and Mr. Go asks, "What's wrong?" My response more often these days (rather than "you did x, y and z!") is, "I just need to get over it." We can't possibly control all situations or, heaven forbid, other people. What we can control are our reactions and our emotions.

Really, that's the biggest win of all. Someone acts like a jerk? They must've had a bad morning, or they're lacking the inner light you possess. The winds of life blow them around like a cloud. Poor them, it must be so exhausting. Take a moment to pity them, then carry on with your day; you are a mountain, steady and strong, Master of Your Own Emotions.

3. Adventurousness

This is a relatively new quality of mine that could use some more cultivating, but it's growing all the time. Going to a restaurant by myself, joining Meetup groups, talking to People: even tame things like these can make me uncomfortable, but I get such joy out of it at the end that it's worth it. And the more you do something, the easier it gets. I want this to always be a part of my daughter's life, so she doesn't have to struggle to learn it later, like her mom.

Explore, Babs, the world is your clam, or some other type of shellfish.

4. Chill

As high strung as I am about some things, I'm a pretty laid-back person in general. I go with the flow, I'm usually up for most of the adventures Mr. Go proposes and it's pretty hard to offend me. Life is easier and more enjoyable if you're not digging your heels in, riding the brakes and trying to make everything to go your way.

This has the bonus side effect of Self-Love and Confidence: Ever notice how much easier it is to be happy with yourself when you stop caring what other people think of you? When the only standard you have to live up to is your own? I used to only get there when I was too exhausted to overthink; now I'm a frequent visitor to this state of mind, if not a permanent resident.


Really, I could go on and on about my admirable qualities, but it's starting to get a little self-congratulatory.

Point is, if you want your children to grow up to be generous, contributing members of society, it starts with you. They want to be like you, for better or worse; use a big spoon like mommy, swipe at a cell phone like mommy.

And if they're going to parrot you anyway, you might as well give them something good to imitate.