2015: A Year in Review

To say it's been a busy year would be laughably understated. I'm sure 85% of the world's population would say the same of their 2015.

It's also been the most joyful year of my life. Adding Babs to the mix makes everything better. Certainly not easier or quicker, but definitely better.

We put a lot of miles on 'ole Subey with six road trips of several hundred miles apiece.

We changed up our lifestyle. I traded in my 9 to 5 office job for a 24/7 work schedule, and freed us up for all the adventures we've been on. Taking that first step was the hardest part, but now the ball is rolling for much bigger plans.

I got my first tattoo! Hey, it's a milestone for me. Finally summoning up the balls and making the time to do something I've always wanted; something just for me that has no value other than being pretty.

Reflecting on 2015

Our own shortcomings are always easiest for us to see, and I have the bad habit of focusing on what's lacking in my life rather than taking the time to be grateful for all I have and have done. So that's my resolution for 2016: be grateful.

To that end, I also resolve to continue my (intermittent) practice of:

Morning Meditations

As with many of the good things in my life, this one was prompted by Mr. Go, who goes out of his way to find new, better ways of operating. Boy, do I love that guy.

I tried meditating with music, silence, using the app Headspace (which is only free for 10 days, but great) and listening to guided meditations by Tara Brach.

The last one works best for me because my brain is always wandering. Having someone telling me what to do and keeping me on track helps immensely.

Meditating is something that pops up again and again in books and podcasts as one of the best things you can do for your happiness. Cut out the chatter and static in your brain and learn how to focus on the present.

Be Here Now 2k16!

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Feeding a Toddler and Yourself (Without the Stress Headache)

First, let me say, don't overthink it. The "experts" will tell you: just feed the kid what you eat. Don't make them their own special food or you'll create a picky eater. It's a nice goal to strive for, but if all they'll eat for dinner is cereal and bread, they're still probably going to grow up to be perfectly well-adjusted adults. So chill out.

we love cantaloupe now

We stopped making Babs her own puree several weeks ago, but I still get her lunchmeat, string cheese and do special steamed veggies just for her. I dial down the spice on our dishes on the off chance she'll eat a bite.

97% of the time she won't even put it in her mouth. But sometimes she does!

Here are some of the things that have worked for us:

Things that look like puree are usually pretty safe, such as pumpkin and sweet potato pie (sweetened with honey, a good way to trick her into eating eggs), and mashed lentils.

Chicken soup has carrots, so she recognizes those. And once she gets it in her mouth she realizes we're not actually trying to poison her, and will eat the accompanying chicken and celery too.

Chicken Curry, photo courtesy of Everyday Paleo by Sarah Fragoso.

Instead of pie or puree, cut the sweet potatoes into fries and bake them--the perfect finger food.

Every time you put something in front of them, it makes it more familiar and more likely to get eaten. And even if she loved broccoli that one time but hasn't touched it the 17 times since, don't get discouraged. Keep offering her the good stuff, and most importantly, show her that you like it too!

Make it a Game

1, 2, 3
Take a spoonful of your food and encourage kiddo to do the same. Count "one, two, three" (bounce your spoon to the count of course) and then take a bite. Make as big of a show as you can without spilling everything.

Smell
Ask your toddler to smell the food. If you can get it close to their mouth on the pretext of "sniffing" it, they're less likely to be averse to you shoving a spoon at their face.

Name that Food
Ask your toddler to identify the food on their plate. "Can you show mom where the carrots are?" Ask them what color it is,  "Are the carrots blue? They're not?" Finally, ask them if they can take a bite.

Eating off a 'big girl' fork or spoon also makes food seem much more interesting and can get your foot in the door.

Toddler and You Meal Plan

We subscribe to the Paleo diet, which basically just means everything is natural. Here are some Paleo meals that have been a hit with everyone involved.

Chicken Curry Soup (from this A++ cookbook)

Red Lentil Curry

Pumpkin Pie

Sweet Potato Fries

Broccoli & Mushroom Frittata

They all contain things we'd introduced to her time and time again, sometimes with success, sometimes not, but offered in a different way makes it seem different without being too new and scary.

Good Luck!

Overnight Driving with a Toddler (+ 2 Dogs)

Babies change every day. Sometimes I forget that, and then it bites me right in the ass.

We took both dogs and the baby to Michigan for Thanksgiving and did our Christmas celebration at the same time, since we definitely won’t be doing this godforsaken drive again next month. We called it Thanksmas.

Nine days was too long to kennel the dogs, so we took them. Being packed in the car with coolers, jackets, toys and a dog on each side made for kind of a cramped trip. Not as much as our overland journey when we moved to AR, but quite a bit more than our last trip to Georgia, when we didn’t have the dogs.

We decided to do an overnight drive again, planning to arrive around 10am. I picked Mr. Go up from work at 6 p.m. and we were on our way.

Our problems started just one measly hour into the trip. Babs was fussy. I thought she was hungry. She’d been a little stressed that day with me trying to pack the car. It was dark out and I was trying to hand food back to her without either dog getting it first. She ate some pouches, cheese and milk.

Then she threw everything back up.

In about four heaves, she was covered in vomit. Her car seat was covered in vomit. Flotsam and Jetsam very helpfully tried to assist me in cleaning it up, but I respectfully declined. I did what I could while standing on my knees turned backward leaning over her with washcloths and baby wipes, and we stopped at the next gas station to wash everything out in the bathroom.

Flotsam tried to make his escape at this time, and happily took a turn about the parking lot before my death threats were taken seriously.

Babs, once clean of vomit and dressed in her jammies, was simply delightful. She danced a little bit in the gas station to the smooth jazz playing on the radio, then fell asleep in the car. For a while.

Babs is more alert and inquisitive than she was on the initial trip out to AR, and even the overnight trip to MI this summer, so when we stopped at night for gas, the boys woke up and made some noise that then woke her up. The first time (after a white-knuckled ten miles in desolate Illinois when we nearly ran the tank to empty) she was awake for two hours. I fed her a little more, afraid she was hungry but also afraid we’d have a repeat performance of The Exorcist. Then I twisted my arm back over my seat to hold her hand until she fell asleep, then snuck my cold, nearly dead arm away once she was zonked, after several failed attempts. 

All the while our cramped, enclosed space smells like baby vomit and dog breath. Mr. Go has been awake for 18 hours and will be awake for another 10. We were understandably crabby.

The second time we stopped for gas she was only awake roughly one hour before falling back asleep. The unplanned stop for vomit clean up and all the other stops for baby soothing put us back two hours.

After everything, the morning drive might still have been the worst part. Babs woke up around 6 a.m. after being cramped in a car seat all night and wanted to get out and play. We distracted her with food for a while before stopping for breakfast and a brief play outing, then Mr. Go took the wheel again. For the paltry few hours I drove, Babs was awake and Mr. Go was on baby duty, so he slept maybe an hour that night.

When we arrived at our destination around noon, we ate and napped, after foisting Babs onto a deliriously joyful Grandma.

Eight days later, the return trip went 80,394X better. First of all, she didn't vomit. Win. 

We started at Noon. Babs woke up early that day so she was realllllly tired by that time. She fell asleep instantly in the car, and slept for over two hours. It was glorious.

jetsam slept for a good 15 miles like this

We stopped a couple times that afternoon to let her get out and run around, then put her to "bed" around 6:30. She fell asleep just after 7, which is a little early for her bedtime, but she'd had a lot of excitement.

She did wake up a couple times in the night and cried for a minute or so, probably because she wanted to stretch and couldn't. So we woke her up next time we stopped and got her out. Then she slept for a good solid stretch until we got home. 

We arrived just after 5 a.m. Then, the little angel ran around the house for a few minutes to check things out and play, and let me put her back to bed for another two hours. Mr. Go and I slept, then I napped when she did that afternoon, though Mr. Go was too interested in football to sleep, despite running on roughly 3 hours sleep, walnut that he is.

Fun side note: When I opened the front door this afternoon to go out for the mail, I had a mystery surprise cactus on my front steps. One of those weird Southern things, maybe?

hello there, do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior jesus christ?

Thanksmas

It was a good trip. Packing all our stuff up to go back and forth between Grandparents’ houses four times was a little annoying, but it kept everyone happy and Babs took it as well as could be expected. At one grandma’s house we shared a room with Babs, so she didn’t sleep quite as well, able to hear us and the dogs shifting. 

We spent time with Babs’ great grandparents as well, which to me was the biggest win of the trip. It’s all precious time, with them getting up in years and us living so far away. My grandpa has been struggling with health issues for a while, and he absolutely lit up just by sitting there watching her play.

It’s amazing the way a child’s joy is contagious, if you take the time to stop and notice it.

So yeah, good trip. I learn something new about my daughter every day. Sometimes it helps me project her behavior in the future, sometimes it doesn’t. You get used to the feeling of being lost. #momlife

Thrifting Dos and Don'ts

Who doesn't love thrifting? Unique, sometimes even vintage items on the cheap? Yes, please. But it's best to exercise caution when thrifting. Believe it or not, there are some things best bought new.

Let's start with the Thrifting Don'ts.

Kitchen Items
Things that need to be sharp, like a vegetable peeler, knife, grater, etc. are best bought new. Because you know what you get when you purchase a .75c vegetable peeler? A weird, crappy letter opener, because it's certainly not going to be peeling any vegetables. Go to Dollar Tree and get a new one for an extra quarter and save yourself the nicked thumbs from trying to peel a thick-skinned sweet potato because you got a good deal on this stupid thing and you're going to use it dammit.

Battery-Operated Items
Sometimes you'll be fine.

Sometimes you'll spend $5 on a rad Fisher Price piano that turns out to be nothing more than an overpriced, dirty step stool.
Unless you have batteries with you that you can test in it, maybe don't risk it. 

Shoes

Five years ago me disagrees. I love a bargain, and I love shoes. But if you're going to be putting any miles at all on them, forego already broken-in shoes. You want them to break into your foot, not someone else's. This is especially true for kids, though they're not putting much weight on the cushioning, they put about twice as many miles on their sweet little squishy feet as you do on your hooves.

Anything that Needs to be Dependable
Need it to comfortably support and keep your child safe? Probably new is best. This applies to anything that would be detrimental to you if it failed.

If you still want to live the thrifty life, visit your local Dollar Tree, where everything is $1. (NOT Dollar General--the devil in disguise.) Pro Tip: Shop here for the bigger items--30 oz hand soap, cookie sheets, can openers. Some comparison shopping might be necessary to ensure you're getting a good deal here rather than at Wally World, but be patient and you'll get some great bargains.

As for the Thrifting Dos:

Pretty Much Everything Else

Clothes? Abso-freakin-lutely. Jewelry? Sterilize your earrings first, then go crazy. Artwork, Books, Furniture, etc. are all great thrifted items. Especially if you have kids and/or dogs and can never have nice things again anyway.

If you don't completely destroy the item, re-donate it once it's run its course and share the love. Recycling makes the world go round!

How to Find Things to Do With a Toddler (No Matter Where You Are)

When you're traveling, finding community can be difficult. Especially if you're an introvert (like me), and especially if you travel somewhere where not many others are fellow travelers (like Arkansas).

So how do you find things to do and people to hang out with? Whether you're passing through for a couple days or a couple months, here are some tips for getting to know your new area (and the people there) in order to make the most of your time, especially if you're toting around a wee one.

Meetup Groups
Get an account at Meetup.com and Find Your People. Join groups that share your interests, whether it be salsa dancing, reading, or paganism and witchcraft. Most groups have a free trial period of one or two months before you have to pay a paltry yearly fee to stay and hang. This is useful for people in general, whether you have a kid or are a traveler or not. It provides the additional security of knowing that the people you'll be meeting want to meet you too.

Kids Directory
Find an almost comprehensive list of things to do with kids at kidsdirectory.com. Not all states have one, and not all areas of states are covered, but if you live near a city there's a good chance you'll find some cool stuff to do.

Libraries
Go. To. The. Library. Once I graduated college, it's like I forgot libraries existed. But our library does fun stuff like Toddler Storytime, movie nights and even knitting and yoga classes. I bet yours does, too.

Oh, plus they have books. Borrowing books is a great way to keep a toddler interested and not have to amass a library yourself. (I suggest using a sanitizing wipe on board book pages and book covers.)

Museums
Be those parents. Drag your kid to the museum, but only if they have a fun exhibit, preferably interactive. A 3-year-old isn't going to enjoy Renoir or whoever. There should be dinosaurs. Animatronic dinosaurs. Or at least some stuff they can get their hands on. Google 'museum' or 'kids museum' and your city name and go explore.

Parks
Whether expansive state parks with lots of trees and open space or a tiny patch of grass with a swing set, parks are a great place for a kid to expend some energy. A grassy patch is all mine needs to be entertained at this stage. They're also the perfect place for toddlers to interact with other kids, allowing you an in to meet their parents.

Babies are natural ice breakers. "How old is your little one?" is my go-to conversation starter. Compliment that kid, and their parents will instantly be more open to you. Mention you're new to the area and most people feel compelled to help you get involved by telling you what they love most about the area and things they think you should do and see.

Many cities host fun events in their parks every so often. Go on your city's website to find a calendar of events. Even if they're not hosted in the park, it's another good resource for finding fun things to do.

Honorable Mention: Free Flyers
Grab one of the flyers from those boxes at the grocery store entrance, or on the thrift store counter. Community events will often be publicized this way rather than online. Your town may have a newsletter or a specific event may simply be advertised with a piece of paper. Pay attention!

One of my favorite things about traveling is tasting the flavor of a place. That means exploring the mom-and-pop shops, talking to people and getting the locals' take on what's what. This seems to be easier in the South, where folks are friendly to a fault. And especially if you have a cute baby--you'll be beating the locals off with a stick.

The more you travel, the better you'll get at finding the unique things a place has to offer. Get out of your comfort zone a little, go to events you wouldn't usually. Find new hobbies. Explore. That's what traveling is all about!

Crater of Diamonds State Park, Arkansas

The only diamond mine in the United States where you can play the prospector is in Arkansas. A bandana and ratty brimmed hat are encouraged but not required.

the beginning of the excursion, so full of hope

Entry costs $8/person (under 10 is free). We bought a couple trowels and rented a sifter screen, but you can bring your own if you have them lying around.

I was surprised at how serious some people were about mining for diamonds, but then less surprised the more I thought about it. Some folks brought easy ups for shade (since there is literally no natural shade available as you're mining), bag chairs, buckets and other tools. There are campsites available to rent a short distance from the mining site too, if you really want to make a weekend of it.

We were there for 2 hours, and it was enough.

What to Bring to Crater of Diamonds State Park

We had no idea what to expect so I brought hiking boots, sneakers, pants, snacks, a backpack full of sunscreen and diapers and an extra shirt, just for the hell of it. I brought practically everything I own.

On a nice dry day, I should have just worn my sneakers and brought a light blanket to sit on.

Also, more water. They have water fountains, but it's best if you just have your own water on you at all times. Stay hydrated people, it's rule #1.

Toting a child along does require some extra attention, so a backpack with diapers, wipes, snacks, hand sanitizer (or just use wipes), and sunscreen is a must.

no diamond yet. keep digging, Babs.

The largest diamond found at the park was over 40 carats (1924). This year someone found an 8.5 carat diamond. They plow the search area every so often to turn up the dirt and more diamonds. Apparently after it rains is the best time to go because it churns stuff up, but I'd rather minimize mud.

Do yourself a favor and do not go to this park in the height of summer, please. It was a nice cool day over the weekend and I was still sweating, even in shorts. As previously mentioned, there is not much shade, unless you take a break from mining and sit in one of the pavilions.

walked away a little richer than we came, and we didn't even need to find a diamond

Babs had a great time, though. She's been having fun playing in our dirt pile backyard picking up rocks so we figured Crater of Diamonds was the natural next step. I told her to find mama a diamond, but she didn't follow through. Kids.

Now that the weather is finally easing up on us, we'll be checking out more of Arkansas' 52 state parks! Yay for fall!

Babs Goes to Georgia

I've traveled more places now that I'm a mom than I ever did in my carefree early 20s. 

Now that the only schedule I have to adhere to is feeding and putting a toddler to sleep (both of which can be done in a car) we're so mobile it's ridiculous.

So we decided to go visit some friends in GA. They have a 9 month old little boy; we figured Babs would like to see him again.  (We were right.)

Mr. Go wanted to share this nugget of wisdom about our trip: "Don't underestimate 539 miles." Not that many people would, but... 8 hours? After our last two road trips were 17+ hours.... we thought it would be just like popping over to see a neighbor. (We were wrong.)

We drove at night, starting at 6 p.m. and getting in around 3 a.m. Babs woke up when transferring her into the house to her pack 'n play, and wanted nothing but to explore the house. She was furious that I wouldn't let her. By some miracle she didn't wake up their baby (glory glory hallelujah). I watched a movie with her on my phone in bed, hoping she'd fall asleep (since it had worked before) but had no luck. Mr. Go thought this was a truly terrible idea and at 5 a.m., both of us exhausted and with a screaming baby, made for a not-so-pretty sight.

She finally fell asleep in our friend's baby's swing, and Mr. Go took her (swing and all) back upstairs to her room when the sun came up so the rest of the house waking up wouldn't disturb her.

After being able to explore the house and satisfy her curiosity about being in a new place, she napped pretty easily the rest of the weekend, only crying for 1-2 minutes before putting herself to sleep for the first nap, then going down like an angel after that. Our friends offered to let us use their pack 'n play, but we opted to take our own, so Babs would have as many familiar things/smells as possible.

For next time: If she wakes up on the transfer inside, take her on a quiet tour before trying to put her to bed. It might not work, because this baby is a constant mystery to me, but it's worth a shot.

Mr. Go and Babs atop Kennesaw mountain on the sweatiest day of my life

We took her on a hike up Kennesaw mountain, to play at a big park and went out to eat at a fabulous Louisiana-style place called Henry's. The rest of the time we stayed in, hung out and let the babies play together. But the best thing to do in Kennesaw is to play bean bag toss in the unfinished basement of a friend's enormous house.

Babs and her boyfriend. Mr. Go hovering chaperoning in back.

I am so glad Babs is as independent as she is now. And she'll only keep getting more fun the older she gets. I forgot how utterly helpless (in a good way) infants are. It's a legit miracle that every day she's growing and she'll never be the same as she is at this very moment. I guess the same is true of all of us, and it's good to be reminded every now and then to be thankful for the moment you're in--because it's the only one you've got.